Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
well you can't waste a boner
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
