Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Randomize
