I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Bring me that man meat
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
