Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
