Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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