No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize