You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
