She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
organizing the empties. That sober.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
The power of my boobs compel you
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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