dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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