I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
