i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
