As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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