drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
