why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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