I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
