You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
