he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
