I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
