i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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