There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
