Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
