Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
