I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
You smell like stripper and shame
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
