Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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