I faked an abortion last night.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
