what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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