How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
The feeling are messing with the penis
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
