Why are handjobs necessary in class?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
two words...techno handjob
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
