I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
