He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
