What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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