I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
