well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Randomize
