you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
