the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
