Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
