my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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