I showed him my bush... on skype.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
