You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
