I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
it's like iHOP with fire
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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