So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
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