So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
