Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
