Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
