why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
