I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
The power of my boobs compel you
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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