I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
