why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
