I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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