I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
