whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
