I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
