Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
